Askew View of Reality by Anis Syahirah and Kemp Sabourin

Play the video to listen to a voice recording of the poem below, by Kemp Sabourin.

My eyes struggle to maintain a grasp on reality,
Lied and cried which applied the snide side as I slide,
It’s so steep and brings on this sense of mortality,
Friends replied outside with denied pride as I ride,
Remembering a time when my body had such vitality,
Tried to bide in stride but now the tide is wide reside,
My mentality has been invaded by this hospitality,
Allied beside the divide that denied to provide inside.

Hopelessness overcomes me as I sink into this pit,
Darkness cues while I cruise on the path that I choose,
My only escape from this personal prison is to acquit,
To excuse the abuse that I have let loose only to use,
Must submit a bit and admit that I slipped and tripped,
To defuse or transfuse all that has become my views,
I did permit this demon to commit, that much I admit,
Whose shoes fit and amuse this confused recluse?

Now I’m wondering what does this all surround,
Every vein reigns with pain but I can’t complain,
Sounds of the voids that circle around bring me down,
The disdain that rain upon my brain are driving me insane,
Drowned in profound bounds that never should have crowned,
Try to contain my main domain wishing I could feign humane,
Will I rebound from this compound undignified mound,
Feeling the chain again pulling me down the drain.

Swirling spirals of my own self-conscious reflection,
This affliction for my addiction never tried to mention,
Disconnection from direction and defection from affection,
My depiction of conviction is all fiction causing friction,
Perfection in this infection leading me in the wrong direction,
Self-crucifixion is a contradiction it’s all my own infliction,
Connection with rejection all started with this injection,
Your prediction is the restriction that was out of jurisdiction.

The dark engulfs me and there is no more escape,
Only my own blame to take aim at my hidden shame,
Drape the tape over my face made of this scape,
Fame that claims you in this game is all just the same,
The cape doesn’t reshape my fate as I just simply gape,
A flame still tries to maim and tame in one frame,
Mouth agape as I try to scrape by and just take shape,
Proclaimed a name that is an exchange to try to acclaim.

Returning from where I came is all I truly desire,
How to calculate and navigate before you strangulate,
To walk higher on the thin wire made of sharp brier,
Contemplate to amputate this candidate during castigate,
It’s too late cause I’m in the fryer and I hear the choir just prior,
Demise is on the rise and I vacillate before I validate my fate,
I tire of this attire of pyre just one final buyer before I expire,
Heart palpitates starting a race while poison coagulates at a rapid rate.

I feel the end is near with the crushing weight of my own skin,
Eaten alive by all the lies that personified this addiction to rise,
The best I have been was floating in sin wherein I spin within,
Flies the size of men’s eyes compromise my prize of easy demise,
Begin the end as tears roll down my chin just hope my kin grin,
Happiness arise and opens skies to never chastise like a sunrise,
Eyes pin shut therein and win over my will to fend off the end,
Despise the lies that deprive all my wise compromise to just die.

More of Anis Syahirah‘s illustrations can be found on her tumblr. More of Kemp Sabourin‘s writing can be found here.

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